Healing

I'm a photographer, and even though it might seem odd to you I find it comforting to take photos even in weird situations. Perhaps it's just my way of remembering details and things that otherwise might be forgotten. Photos can definitely bring back certain emotions that you were feeling at the time they were captured, so maybe that is why. At any rate, I'm finally going to blog about Granny's funeral and yes, I have some photos to share.

Seems like the past month has gone by fairly quickly, as most months tend to do. Especially this time of year, once September hits things go into hyper-drive and before you know it you're making plans on which family gets to see you at Thanksgiving (started that yesterday) and then next thing you know you are opening Christmas gifts.  Granny's funeral was a month ago, which seems like a long time and not a long time all at once. I guess seeing as I lived far away and didn't get to see her regularly, nothing feels different but yet not the same too. I guess it's an odd sensation, knowing that she's not somewhere I can go visit her now.

Lots of family came to her visitation, people I hadn't seen in years since the Adams family reunion tradition fell by the wayside as the matriarchs of the family got older. It's always nice to see a familiar face (even when you can't put a name with it) but then it's also strange because although related, these aren't people that you know, or that know you, in any sort of real sense. If I heard once, I heard 10 times "We've got to stop meeting like this." I suppose small talk is the only way to fill some voids when you don't know what else to say.  I was just happy that people were there to offer support and pay their respects. They didn't have to make meaningful conversation with me; just to have someone show they care by showing up was enough.  There were plenty of plants and flowers as well; three of my girlfriends from church sent a small plant that now sits on my hearth.

But the tiny moments like listening to my nephew sing Jesus Loves Me to Granny is something I'll never forget.  As the years pass I may not recall Dad's cousins or friends that came, but I'll remember this.

I'll probably tear up as I write this, (yep, I feel it already)...my best friend's dad came to Granny's graveside service. As far as I know he didn't know Granny. To my knowledge, he was just there for me. When he walked up I was completely overwhelmed and touched by the gesture of just being there. It meant more than any small chatter that anyone else could have made.  I could barely even greet him, let alone tell him thank you.

I don't really recall much of what was said during the service. Of course I had three small children rotating places in my lap at various times as Kate, Logan and Kylie tried their best to sit quietly but also found it difficult to hide their discomfort at the heat. I also found it more comforting to tone out the minister and just have my own thoughts about the moment. Sometimes I wonder if a funeral or graveside service would be more meaningful to everyone if no one said a word and people were just allowed to have their own quiet reflection for a while.

But it went well, although I do recall feeling like it went on for a long time. That probably had more to do with the three kiddos and the heat than anything. When it was all said and done, as people began to leave, I enjoyed the moment that I had to sit with the kids and just be together. Despite everything they were very well behaved (maybe it's because this was their second cemetery meeting this year?).

I did take time while at the cemetery to point out the tombstones of my grandfathers on both sides, great grandfather and great grandmother on Mom's side, and uncle to Nick.  Coincidentally my mother's father and his parents are buried in the next row from where we laid Granny to rest with her husbands and son. Small world, or something like that.

 I don't really know how to summarize this blog. I pretty much felt compelled to write it more for memory sake than for being informative to anyone else. Maybe it allowed you to remember a loved one too.