Run away

My current state of mind is that of flight. I just want to run away.


Last week one of my co-workers was fired, and rightly so. He was pretty much useless and dishonest. Why it took the company so long to catch on to that is still a mystery to me, given what the guys out here knew about him, but that's beside the point. Since his dismissal all of the stuff that he was doing when he was actually doing something useful has been dumped on me. Despite his lackluster work ethic, he at least fielded all the phone calls, received all the emails every day, and dealt with the powers that be when it comes to our sub-contract work. I was perfectly content to sit in the background, doing all the paperwork and making sure that purchase orders were correct, faxes were sent, a few miscellaneous things were ordered when someone needed them...you know, the engine that kept the car running. Now I'm doing it all.


My phone rings constantly. My inbox is always full. Bosses are hassling me for information, as are salespeople, vendors, drivers....I am being pulled in every direction. The paperwork is still there, but now it is piling up because I don't have time to work through it with all these people bugging me. Despite their need to know certain pieces of information, I fail to see why it all has to come from me. I can't keep up with all this stuff. If you asked me what we sent to a certain vendor yesterday, I couldn't tell you. I don't remember, because I've done a thousand things since then.


I find it most annoying because I'm not the only person with a phone and the ability to check on something. It's especially aggravating coming from the sales team. They should be perfectly capable of looking up vendor information and even seeing if a purchase order is attached to a job, but 99% of the time they have to call me to ask. Then they expect me to stop what I'm doing to make a phone call. All I'm asking is for other people to pick up the slack a little bit.


I don't like stress. I don't deal well with pressure. I'm the type of person that can't let it slide off my back. It eats at me. It affects every aspect of my life. I'm unhappy, cranky, moody, and sick. My body aches and I am tired. I treat Nick unfairly because he's the one around me that is stuck taking the brunt of my anger and dislike of the situation. I know that's wrong too...which adds guilt to the stress. The way things are currently going I'd rather just stay in bed all day than face the work load I have...yeah, I can get depressed if I'm not careful. So for work to put all this on me and really without even asking, it's becoming too much. But I'm regrettably the type of person that doesn't say no very easily. I can get the job done, but I need you to leave me alone to do it. Unfortunately in this present situation no one leaves me alone. It makes me an unpleasant person. I don't like being unpleasant. Life is too short to worry about this stuff! I keep threatening my office mates that I'm going to go work at Wal-Mart as a door greeter. They just think I'm bluffing.


I just pray that they hire someone quickly to fill the gap in my office or I might just run away.