Brandi's List of Pet Peeves

I've been toying with writing this blog for a while now, and I decided that this rainy Monday morning was as good as any. Seems like the subject of pet peeves has come up quite a bit in the last week, which really cemented my need to put it down, for posterity you know. It might also serve to be somewhat therapeutic. In no particular order, I give you my list of pet peeves.

• Guests who use flash photography during a wedding ceremony Unless you are being paid by the bride and groom or have specifically been asked by them to take photos during their ceremony, put your camera away or buy a DSLR and learn how to use it properly without flash.
  
• Toilet paper dispensers in public restrooms that are hung so low on the wall that you have to bend way over to get the toilet paper out This has always annoyed me but never-so-much as now that I'm 32 weeks pregnant and bending over has become an issue. Why can they hang it up high, like shoulder or head level when you are standing? Wouldn't it be easier to reach up and pull down TP rather than having to lean way over and then pull down while leaning over so that you only successfully tear off 3-5 squares at a time?
  
• People who use the words note and notate incorrectly Notate means "to write or record (esp. music) in notation" and is more specifically used for mathematics, music, art, science, etc. "Note" as a verb means "to set down in writing; make a note of". Therefore dear co-worker of mine, it is not correct to tell your drivers to "notate any changes on your packing slips". You only sound like an idiot when you say that. They can note any changes, but the next time you tell them to notate it I'm going to throw my stapler at you.
• Cutting off the oncoming lane while making a left-hand turn People who do not pull far enough into an intersection to execute a left-hand turn without entering the oncoming traffic lane next to the lane they are trying to turn into annoy me greatly. I wish every intersection would put those metal tire strips down so that these idiots would have to keep replacing their tires until they learn how to turn without cutting off invisible cars.
  
• Improper TP presentation Toilet paper should always be hung on the roller so that it rolls over the top, not from underneath the roll. Period. If I am at your house and you have hung it improperly, I will change it while I am in your bathroom. You are welcome.
• Hasty generalizations about my future child Just because you are unable to control your child during church or they keep you up every night or they refuse to eat their veggies, etc, does not mean that my child will follow in your child's footsteps. Stop comparing my unborn child to yours and saying things like "This will be you someday!" or "See what you have to look forward to?" to me. Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Either way, I don't want to hear it.
• Psalm/Psalms You can read the book of Psalms, or you can read a Psalm within the whole book. But if you try to tell me to turn to Psalms 100 I'm going to roll my eyes and give Nick that look because he knows that I hate that. It's not Psalms 113:1, it's Psalm 113:1. It's singular. It's only correct to use Psalm in the plural form when referring to multiple verses/books. Why is that so hard? No one says turn to Matthews 3:1.
• Facebook I don't want you to send me a hug/kiss/rose/teddy bear/scrapbook supply/cocktail/or any other such nonsense on Facebook. I don't want to own a farm/mafia gang/lil green patch either. I also do not want to know which kind of tree/NFL team/cocktail/Twilight character/80's movie/Michael Jackson song you are. I'm tired of having to block all these applications, so it would be easier if people would just stop sending them to me. Unless of course you figure out a way to send me actual money through Facebook, consider me uninterested.
• Speaking of Facebook, I don't need a status update every 15 minutes relaying the current position or cuteness of your cat. You know who you are.
• The inevitable slow-down of traffic when a cop has pulled someone over It never fails; a policeman has some poor speeding driver pulled over and everyone who passes them slows down to the posted speed limit because let's face it - we were all speeding, Officer. I don't understand why people slow down. He's already pulled someone over and I don't think he's going to stop writing up their ticket to jump in his car and chase you down instead, unless perhaps you shoot at them while you drive by. It really kills me when this slow down occurs and said officer is on the opposite side of a divided highway. Is he going to jump the concrete embankment Dukes of Hazard style? I think not.
• The fear of passing a cop You know what I'm talking about - he's cruising down the road at about 5 miles under the posted speed limit, so everyone else driving down the road slows down to the same speed. No one has the intestinal fortitude to drive the speed limit because that would mean -GASP!- passing a police car. Seriously folks, he's not going to pull you over for passing him while driving the speed limit. In fact, he's probably laughing at you right now because he has so much power to control you. I say stick it to him and show him who's boss in your car.

I feel better...don't you? Tell me, what annoys you?